Feeling more hopeful.......

..........today :)

Since my appointment with the nurse on Tuesday (around 30 hours ago) my right breast has significantly improved in appearance.

Perhaps the dressings being removed has had an impact, maybe my having booked an appointment with Mr Russo on Monday has terrified it into behaving ;), or it might just be the implant is dropping into position.  Whatever the reason the deformity has definitely started to even out.

Righty is far from perfect but the improvement in the last two days is very noticeable.  

Maybe I won't need revision surgery after all?  Fingers crossed.

I am trying not to obsess about my tittys; although that's easier said than done.  I'll take some photos on Sunday (I'm away in Belfast working from tomorrow until then) and hope the improvement in righty is apparent in them.

Nurse agrees that my right breast is not okay......

..........and will need revision surgery to correct the issue.

I had review appointment with Louise, nurse at my local THG clinic, this morning.  She removed the dressings and said the incisions are healing beautifully.  I told her my concerns about righty and she initially (when I was lying down) said she was sure that time would rectify the issue.  

When I stood up and showed her the 'deformity' that the suture line problem creates she agreed that it was not okay.  She said she had never seen anything like the issue I have.

I explained that, as the suture line heals, the 'W' shape at the bottom of my right breast becomes more (not less) pronounced.

Louise said I need to see Mr Russo and that, in her opinion, I will need further surgery.  I asked if I would have to pay for that.  She said I would not have to pay anything more.  Particularly as I am so soon post-surgery.  She added that she knew Mr Russo would want me to me happy with the result and clearly I am not.

I am not being 'pernickety' my right breast is deformed as a result of how the incision is healing :(

I have made an appointment to see Mr Russo on Monday (3rd February).  I am hopeful he will be willing to operate sooner rather than later.  I will be very upset if I have to wait another 6 months to heal fully from this op before he will revise the problem with righty. 

Ho hum........

Although I hate looking at them I've taken a few snaps of my breasts today.

18 days post augmentation

side view lefty

incisions

Deformation in my right breast is becoming worse as the suture line heals!

Having taken photos today with the dressings and steri-strips removed I am able to compare it to photo taken a week ago when dressings were changed the first time.

incisions 7 days post augmentation

incisions 15 days post augmentation

I think the deformation of the suture line is becoming more pronounced as it heals.  I am very upset about this.  Hope I can get some reassurance from the nurse on Tuesday.  Either that it can/will resolve or that Mr Russo will correct it.

15 days post augmentation........

...........and I have changed my dressings and steri-strips today.  The suture lines are healing well but the incision on the right breast is causing the breast to heal in a deformed way.  As the incision heals this is getting more pronounced.

I'm gutted :(

15 days post augmentation

incisions

underside of righty

underside of lefty

Dropping and fluffing

Part of me is holding out hope that the appearance of my right breast will be significantly improved if it experiences what is commonly referred to as 'dropping' and 'fluffing'.  

Not all women experience this and I believe it is more dramatic with sub-pectoral placement. 

'Dropping' and 'fluffing' can take weeks or even months to occur so I may not know whether my right breast will improve for some time yet.   I guess that is why Martina, the nurse I saw a week ago, said not to worry about any 'imperfections' I perceive in my breasts for at least three months.

Two weeks post augmentation...........

.............and, physically, I am feeling absolutely fine. I'm back to pre-op energy levels and for 90%+ of the time I totally forget I had surgery two weeks ago.

I've had a very busy week at work and have been away from home for most of it. The last two nights were spent in hotels and laying flat on my back to sleep. Back ache (like I had after the first op) was a real problem last night. I'm home again now so I'll be sleeping upright on my chaise lounge again. I have rebuilt my 'pillow fort' and am snuggled into it as I type :).

I've mostly tried to not look at my breasts this week - thus no photos. Righty is still deformed and I find it upsetting to look at it so, for the most part, I haven't. I cannot do anything to change it so obsessing won't make any difference.

I watched 'Botched up Bodies' on television last night. It's about cosmetic surgeries that have gone wrong. The series started the night before my op; for obvious reasons I decided it wasn't a good idea for me to watch it that night. There were a couple of women on last nights show having 'botched' breast surgery corrected by consultant surgeons. I am beginning to wonder if that will be my future.

Mario Russo still hasn't responded to my email. I sent it 12 days ago. I don't expect to receive a response now. I will see the nurse on Tuesday and will express my concerns to her and especially my disappointment that Mr Russo has not had the courtesy to even acknowledge my email. I will ask if I can forward the email to her and ask her to forward it to Mr Russo.

Eight days post augmentation........

........and I am feeling sore and a bit 'out of sorts'.

My skin, where the old dressings have been removed, is a tad sore (I guess I have a slight allergy to the adhesive) and the incisions on both breasts are feeling a bit raw too.  I'm sure that's due to them having been 'disturbed' by the nurse yesterday.

I am also suffering with constipation caused, I realise too late, by the codeine in the co-codamol painkillers I took in the first few days post-surgery.   

All in all I'm feeling a bit yukky.

eight days post augmentation

side view - lefty

side view - righty

Back from review appointment with nurse........

..........and all is well.

Martina, the nurse, was adorable.  She was very gentle (no "ouchie, ouchie, pulley, pulley" today) and  she was reassuring too.

The incisions are healing very well and, although the right breast incision line is clearly kinked I think it is slowly evening out and looking better each day.  

Martina stressed that before the three month mark most augmented breasts will appear distorted (to a greater or lesser extent and for more or less periods of time) and that the majority end up absolutely perfect in terms of shape.

She removed the dressings and steri-strips and I took a couple of snaps [see below].  She has put fresh steri-strips and dressings in their place.  I'm very pleased about that.  I like the extra protection they afford in these early days.

I need to continue to keep suture lines dry as Mr Russo is very much of the opinion that bacteria in water is the cause of most infections and, as a result, worse scarring.  I'm fine with that.  I went longer than two weeks post-op without a shower last time.  I'm bathing daily (with water only filled to reach my belly button) and washing my hair every other day so not struggling with feeling grubby.

I wipe my breasts down with flannel when I bathe and I use wet wipes to clean near and around the dressings a couple of times a day.  I'm changing my compression bra daily too.

one week post augmentation

incision righty

incision lefty

my first sight of the incisions post augmentation

I am very impressed with how small, neat and true to the original scar line Mr Russo has made the incisions.  

Next week:

I am unable to get to the clinic next week, for the dressings and strips changing again, as I'm working long hours each day (mostly away from home).  Martina agreed I could change the dressings myself and she gave me the materials I will need to do so and instructed me on what to do.

I will then see the nurse (Louise) the following week.  

'supplies' provided by nurse for me to change dressing and steri-strips next week

I'm seeing the nurse later today.

The dressings, and possibly the steri-strips, will be removed and I will get my first look at what my naked breasts look like post augmentation.

After the mastopexy I was very excited about this appointment, and for the full reveal of my surgically enhanced breasts.  My experience of total horror at what I saw, on that occasion, has tempered any excitement I might have had today [for the gory details see here].

I recall being in a lot more pain/discomfort once the dressings were removed last time.  Some of that - I'm sure - was psychosomatic, actually seeing the lacerations across my boobies was nothing short of shocking; some was due to the skin and suture lines being made sore by the process of removing the dressings and steri-strips (ouchie); and some was - I guess - that the dressings had been providing some support.

I hope I am better prepared for what I might see today. I also hope I will have a better idea of what the issue with the suture line on righty might be.

I'll update - with photos - later.

Wish me luck.


X

Six days post augmentation.........

...............and I think I can see some evidence of the implants beginning to drop into place :).  I'm certainly liking the shape of lefty better.

The suture line on righty is still a serious concern to me but I'm not able to do anything to affect that right now so I've decided not to waste my time stressing about it.  I emailed Mr Russo on Monday with my concerns and, as yet, received no response. 

I have my wound-check appointment with the nurse at my local clinic tomorrow.  The dressings will be removed and I am hopeful that will give me a better idea of what is going on to cause the suture line to be so wonky.  I will also be able to ask the nurse's opinion as to whether the breast will heal in a deformed way and what to do about the lack of response from Mr Russo.

six days post-augmentation

side view - lefty

underside view - lefty

side view - righty

underside view - righty

Oopsie..... I've done too much today........

......and I now have very achy breasts and upper arms.  

I cleaned and tidied around the house and [v. bad] I lifted stuff I should not have lifted, namely: wash basket full of wet washing and bags of shopping.

I am rubbish at not just getting on with what needs doing - especially as I feel (or felt) so well.

I've given myself a thorough ticking off. 

I'm resting now.  I got home with the shopping mid-afternoon and, knowing I'd overdone it, I took some co-codamol got into my onesie and settled down, in my pillow fort, to watch some trashy television.  

Hubby is home from work now. He's brought in the shopping I left in the car boot (everything that didn't need refrigeration) and, when he's finished his workout, we'll make salad to go with the slow cooked beef kharti that is bubbling away in the oven (total yum-fest) and chill out for the evening.

Five days post augmentation.....

......and I cannot see any changes in how my breasts are looking.  I am getting more used to them looking this way though so it is less distressing to look at righty.

Five days post augmentation

I sat up late last night and was online reading lots and lots of women and surgeons reiterating what I already know (but am struggling to hold onto) that it is very early days for me to despair; and most women's implants will settle into the 'pouch' the surgeon created for them 6weeks - 6months post surgery.

Most women have implants sitting way too high in their breast for the first few weeks/months - I certainly have that and, although, I was hoping for more fullness at the top of my breast I can see that when the implants settle the shape of both breasts will be so much more natural and easy on the eye.

I am keen to avoid further surgery but do know that if the suture line on my right breast does heal in that shape that revision surgery would be an option.

side view - lefty

side view - righty

More thoughts:

I need to be patient and stop stressing about the current shape of my right breast.

I think the fact that I had started to adore my pre-op titties, after the horrors of how they had looked at points in my original post-op experience, is adding to my distress.  I looked back over this blog earlier and reminded myself that my titties looked like this eight days post mastopexy:

How my breasts looked eight days post mastopexy - posted today to remind myself that time really is a great healer!

And a mere 5 months later they were looking like this:

5 months on from the last photo my breasts were looking like this!

Trying to remember...........

Four days post augmentation.......

..............and I am still stressing about the deformation in my right breast.  I know I need to wait and let the implants soften and settle but......

I am trying to focus on the positives.  I am feeling remarkably well and discomfort is minimal.  Driving is not the titty-torture that I experienced post-mastopexy and I am not struggling, as many women do, to do simple things like brush my hair as I can easily hold my arms straight above my head.  My breasts are softening as the swelling reduces and in a compression bra, under clothes, they look absolutely fine (thank goodness); but then again my breasts at the very start of this process looked absolutely fine in a bra and under clothes!

I will be gutted to have invested this much money, time, effort and pain to end up with a deformed right breast!  Actually even if I hadn't invested any of those things I would be gutted to have a deformed right breast - the fact that I have paid (in so many ways) for this makes it more awful.

I am beginning to wish I hadn't had the augmentation surgery and that I had, instead, stuck with my uplifted boobies.

Each time I take off my bra to have a look I am hoping the incision line on the right breast will have evened out, at least a little, and that the implant will have dropped down to a position more similar to the left (at the moment the curve of my left breast is around an inch lower than the right).

My left breast (after the first op) has always been a little bigger than the right but now.............!

Four days post-augmentation 

side view lefty

underside of lefty

side view righty

underside of righty

I'm rubbish at resting!!!

I tried.  And I sort of managed it for the first two days post-surgery; with the exception of cleaning kitchen and bathrooms whenever I went in there but - in my opinion - it is unreasonable to expect that I would be able to just leave an unclean basin or toilet.

Today, however, I was unable to resist.  I've dusted and hoovered downstairs and done a few loads of washing, hanging, sorting and folding it.  

Eventually I went to visit my mum to stop myself from doing more.  Sadly my mum is terminally ill with cancer and has had a rough week with infections and the likes.  It was lovely to see her and to have a good catch up and a gossip.

My breasts and my arms are aching this evening so I know doing the housework was not the best way to recover from surgery - I don't recommend it.  I am a little on the OCD side and I just cannot leave it.  I usually work 70+hour weeks and my idea of 'down-time' is allowing myself a whole day to clean my house (it seems less 'cool' when I see it written down like this - heehee).

At least busying myself prevented me from obsessing about my deformed titty.

And in other good news hufband sent me these gorgeous flowers via interflora today <3

Lovely flowers from my gorgeous hufband

very pretty

Three days post augmentation........

......and I am increasingly worried about the deformity in the incision line of the right breast.  Looking back over the photos it was nowhere near as apparent in the photo immediately after the op.  It also was not apparent when I saw Mr Russo on Saturday morning.

I am concerned that when the nurse removed the drain (after I saw Mr Russo) that the internal stitches may have been pulled; and that my breast will heal in that shape (please not!!)

The nurse from the local clinic phoned to ask how I am this morning and to make an appointment for my wound check appointment (which will be on Friday ay 11.30).  I asked her for Mr Russo's email address and I have emailed him my concern with photos for him to see.

I am hoping he will be able to reassure me that, in his opinion, the implants will settle and the curve will smooth out.  I wanted him to see the issue at this stage as when he saw me on Saturday morning the breast looked much less deformed.

Three days post-augmentation

side view

Two days post augmentation surgery......

...and I am feeling remarkably well.  I'm being much more sensible than after my first op.  I am resting; it is so, so difficult for me not to clean and tidy.  My husband was playing golf all day yesterday and to let him do everything when he got home (around 16.15) was very difficult for me.  Especially as he was tired himself and was getting frustrated at all of the mess our 3 children had made (I say 'children' but they are 20, 18 and 15 and perfectly able to clean up after themselves).  I feel 'lazy' sitting here whilst he sorts washing, cooks our dinner and brings me cups of tea and glasses of water!

He has gone off to play golf again today and I am trying to resist all of the things that I can see need doing (hoovering, polishing, sorting dry washing, hanging wet washing, topping up fish tank with water etc....)  I am managing to only do the things I absolutely cannot leave: kitchens and bathrooms are impossible for me to cope with if they are dirty so I am running a cloth around them and splashing some CIF and bleach around but other than that........

I slept wonderfully.  I was very tired.  I made myself a 'pillow fort' on the sofa (chaise lounge bit of a large corner sofa) and slept very comfortably propped up on 6 lovely feather and down pillows with a large cushion under my knees/lower legs.  That is where I am sitting right now - sooooooo comfy!!

This morning I washed my hair over the bath - I'm surprised not to be experiencing significant difficulty raising my arms as I know a lot of women do post augmentation.  I then had a shallow bath and shaved my legs and underarms etc.  Bliss :)  I took great care to not get my dressings wet.

Titty update:

I am trying not to panic about the 'deformity' that I see in my right breast.  I know this is very early days post-op.  I know from my first op that the changes over the first few weeks and months will be significant.

I am not experiencing anything like the level of discomfort I expected.  But I am, again, being more sensible than last time and taking the pain relief I was prescribed.  Seeing what was under my dressings - when they were removed after the first op was a real eye opener and this time I am determined to rest, and to allow my body to do as much healing as possible before I return to work a week on Monday.

Two days post-augmentation

Side view

Gorgeous 'heal well' flowers........

........hand delivered by my Pops :)

Flowers from my Mum and Pops

One day post surgery.......

I'm home and resting.  I left Dolan Park at 9am after Mr Russo 'popped' in for a minute to have a look.  He seemed very pleased with the results and said "that's what you wanted yes?"  I said there was clearly a lot of swelling and they needed to settle.  He seemed to think not!!!  God I hope so.  I'll be devastated if my titties end up looking like this!

Mr Russo was clearly harassed and in a rush.  He did say that the 'squareness' at the base will round off. 

The augmentation has exaggerated the difference in the size of my breasts (annoyingly the right breast that Mr Russo reduced in July is the smaller and less nicely shaped).

One day post BA

I very much hope that, as I heal, the right breast does not retain this indentation at the base.

Right Breast

Left Breast

I know that my breasts will settle, that swelling will reduce and the implants will soften.  I wish Mr Russo had reassured me of such.  I experience him as so very changeable - very moody - and today he was clearly not in a good mood (maybe he wanted me to be thrilled with the way my breasts look currently and - for obvious reasons - I'm not) .  

Ironic that he was the one who was sullen, since it was me who had been delayed 2 hours for him to spend no more than a minute with me.

Once Mr Russo left I had my drains removed.  Not a pleasant sensation but not exactly painful.  The drain was pushed right into my breast, with approx. 20cm of tubing under my skin, that was a revelation to me.

I'm cross with myself because the nurse who removed the drains did not maintain sterile gloves and I did not challenge her.  She put on gloves and removed the dressings covering the right drain.  Having removed that drain she applied another dressing (touching the sterile area having already touched the old dressing and the wrapping of the new dressing).  As she pushed the trolley around to the other side the drain she had already removed fell on the floor, 3 times, and she picked it up each time.  She then removed the left drain - wearing the same gloves!!

The driver who brought me home in July brought me home today.  I like him very much.  Such interesting conversations all the way and he drives at a reasonable pace.  Got me home in a little over 2 hours (took 3 hours to get there with driver who was much, much slower!)

Awaiting Mr Russo at Dolan Park........

.......once he has arrived and seen me (and his other patients I guess). I will have the drains removed and will be able to go home.

The poor driver has been sent away by the nurses (he was booked for 7am) and is now having to hang around waiting to take me home.  Not a lot of fun for him. I guess he drove someone in early this morning and only after dropping me home will get to clock off. 

I'm feeling okay. Got some sleep. Not a lot but that's to be expected.

Have had some painkillers this morning as my breasts were very achy when I woke up. Anticipating the drive home (and my ouchie, ouchie experience post-uplift of cars) I thought it pertinent to utilize the strong painkillers the hospital administer. I have been given some co-codamol to take home - the nurse told me they are not as strong as the ones she gave me at 06.30 this morning. 

Also taking anti-biotics for the next week to stave off any potential infection.




INSTRUCTIONS FROM NURSE:

• Post-op bra to be worn - day and night - for 6 weeks.
• Need to keep dressings / wounds dry for at least a week (until after my first wound-check appointment with nurse). 
• Not to lift anything heavy or to stretch my arms above my head for a couple of weeks. 
• Change bra daily and keep breasts clean and dry.

The actual implants

Image of Naturelle round silicone gel implant

I now have Allergan Naturelle 340cc round gel implants in each breast. They are positioned under the mammary (subglandular).  This is considered less painful than submuscular placement (so yay). 

Illustration of Subglandular and Subpectoral implant positioning

End of surgery day update

Thankfully my BP increased to what is normal for me [100/60 (ish)] late this afternoon and has since stabilised. Obs have been taken much less frequently since.

I had a yummy ham salad for my dinner and have drunk plenty of water and tea to flush out the drugs and anaesthetic from my system.  I have spoken to my hubby, via FaceTime, a few times throughout the afternoon and evening.  Very much looking forward to getting home to him.

The few friends and family members who know about my surgery have all been in touch.  I am fortunate to have such wonderful support (no pun intended).

Mr Russo hasn't left instructions regarding my drains and the nurse who is looking after me overnight, therefore, isn't permitted to remove them until he arrives tomorrow and gives permission.  She said he is a bit of a law unto himself as to when he will arrive. My transport is booked for 7am but will have to wait around until Mr Russo has seen me.  It doesn't affect me too much - I will get home later but I don't have any plans other than resting up - but will inconvenience the nurses and especially the driver.

I am required to sleep sitting up and will attempt to do so soon. My room is directly opposite the nurses station so that might be tricky. I may resort to listening to some music quietly through my headphones as that will be easier to sleep through than people talking and moving around right outside my door.



BOOB UPDATE

I have some discomfort but not to the degree that requires pain relief. The most painful thing was the cannula in my hand.  I asked very nicely and the nurse who is on over night removed it for me an hour ago. I'm chuffed to bits about that!

My breasts are very firm and swollen (even the bit between my breasts is swollen) and are comically large. The swelling will reduce, the implants will soften and they will drop into place (I believe the 'technical term' is that they will 'fluff') - at least I blooming well hope all of those things will happen.

I'll update with daily photos in the first few weeks to chart the changes.



Night blog-world. X

I have drains in both breasts.........

............which makes trips to the toilet somewhat challenging.   Focusing on not bearing weight on my arms (telling myself to "think T-Rex") and taking care with regard to BP (not moving altitude too rapidly) whilst gathering the flasks that the blood is draining into from each side of the bed requires a 'procedure'.  I think I've mastered it though :). As long as I decide to 'go' 5 minutes before I 'need' to 'go' all is well. 

Actually I think perhaps a trip to the bathroom is pertinent right now.  Back in a mo..........

I have opted to just wear my pj bottoms and compression bra - so as not to risk 'catching' and/or 'pulling' the drains which aren't stitched in.  Not stitching them in will ease removal tomorrow morning. 

My nurse, Nadine, is very happy with the small amount of blood draining into the flasks.  It doesn't look like "nothing" to me but that's how she describes it "oh good there is nothing in there - that's excellent". 

Drain - preventing excess blood build up